Do you know what I want to see?
I wanna see a really cool Disney princess who can’t sing. I wanna see this pretty young girl who sounds like a beached whale when she tries to sing “Happy Birthday.” And none of the musical numbers feature her because she doesn’t sing.
But halfway through the movie, she figures out
She can rap like hell
Nicki minaj voices her
I would watch this. Nicki Minaj actually does great voice overs so this is a win
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
sometimes i remember that like white people dont eat rice that often like sometimes they have meals that are just meat and vegetables and its like??? wheres the rice??? what are you doing??? your plate isnt complete???
i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13
Things he tastes like:
- you (only sweeter)
Things you were:
- my picket fence
Things I’ll be:
- your number one with a bullet
Things my songs know:
- what you did in the dark
Things I’ve got:
- troubled thoughts
- the self esteem to match
can a dinosaur even get more fuckin rad?
you bet jurassican
i am so impressed by that dinosaur and that pun congratulations
I laughed so hard I almost got kicked out of the theatre because of this fuck you Fury
This is fun if you read the entire thing
Hmmmm. I have trouble as it is
oh god I panicked
The art of writing with rhythm.
why hate on trans boys when you can hate on cis boys
why hate on anyone when you can grow up and spread some positivity instead
Why hate people when you can hate humidity
Why stop at humidity when you can hate mosquitoes?
i fuckin hate mosquitoessee we’re getting there
high school friends are basically people who agree to survive together and it’s sort of like they’re your crew in a zombie apocalypse and after the apocalypse is over somehow you go on to living life and maybe occasionally you’d run into each other and be like “oh yes i see you still haven’t been eaten by zombies that is good” but you no longer have the need to survive together so that thing tying you to these people is just gone
One time I was with my family, I dropped my plate of food and I said ‘Goddamnit’ then my mom was like “you can’t say that” so I said “Fine. Satan bless it.” Everyone turned to look at me after I said. I forgot I was in church.
This is my legacy, the girl who said “Satan bless it” in church.